Healthy Sexuality
We are all sexual. We are sexual from the day we are born until the day we die. Whether we remain single or marry and have children, whether we ever have sex or not, we are sexual people from birth to death. Your sexuality affects who you are and how you express yourselves as a sexual being.
Your sexuality includes:
- your body, including your sexual and reproductive anatomy
- your biological sex — male, female, or intersex
- your gender — being a girl, boy, woman, man, or transgender
- your gender identities — personal sense of “I am a man, I am a woman” (which may or may not be the same as biological sex).
- your gender role – what roles do men and women take on? What’s different? What’s the same?
- your sexual orientation — to whom are you sexually and emotionally attracted?
- your sex drive
- your sexual identity — the way you feel about your sex, gender, and sexual orientation
The ways you experience and express your sexuality include:
- your body image — how you feel about your body
- your desires, thoughts, fantasies, sexual pleasure, sexual preferences, and sexual dysfunction
- your values, attitudes, beliefs, and ideals about life, love, and sexual relationships
- your sexual behaviors — the ways you have sex including masturbation
- your sexual feelings – sexuality and sexual relationships including how you experience intimacy
Your sexuality and the ways you experience and express it are influenced by:
- your biology
- your emotional life
- your family life
- your culture and your status in your culture
- your ethical, religious, and spiritual upbringing and experience
- your reproductive decisions – whether, when or with whom to become a parent
- your sexual health – how you protect your partner and yourself, now and in the future, from diseases and emotional harm
Even though we spend our lifetimes as sexual beings, it’s normal to have many questions about sex and sexuality. And this is good because the more we know about sex and sexuality, the better we are able to take charge of our sex lives and our sexual health. We are all involved in a lifelong learning process about our sexuality. As we grow and mature our needs change; our capabilities change, our desire for intimacy and closeness changes. Our experiences and the experiences of people close to us shape our expectations and our values about sexuality.
Are my sexual activities healthy and normal?
Healthy sexual choices allow you to:
- respect yourself and others
- experience pleasure and fun either alone or with others
- protect yourself from emotional and physical harm such as
- unintended pregnancy
- sexually transmitted infections
- pressure to have sex
- sexual assault
Asking yourself the questions below can help you to determine if your sexual activities and sexual relationships are healthy and normal.
- How is it contributing to your quality of your life?
- Does it give you pleasure?
- Is it putting you, or others, at risk of harm (for example, sexually transmitted infection)?
- Do you and your partner only have sex when you both want to?
- Do you lie about sex?
- Is it causing you, or anyone else, physical or emotional pain?
- Is your relationship equal, honest, and respectful?
- How does it make you feel about yourself?
- Does it follow your personal and family values?
Adapted from Planned Parenthood Federation of America’s webpage on Sex & Sexuality